I just watched the movie “Manila Kingpin: The Untold Story of Asiong Salonga” with Charlie and…

It was so bad, I had to post this gif.

I didn’t get to see the trailer so from what Charlie told me, I thought it was a comedy (gangsters shooting each other on kalesas). So when we were buying tickets, I was saying it’s probably going to be funny but Charlie said:

“No, I think it’s serious.”

“But…I thought it was a comedy.” (Which was why I was convinced I to watch the film.)

“No, I really think they’re trying to be serious. I know the way I said it probably made it sound funny, but the movie is serious.”

So I got my sandwich and Charlie got his burgers and off we went to watch the movie of DOOM! 

At first it was all pretty cliche. Some macho men with guns and cigarettes wearing hipster hats, and you know the whole movie was trying to give some Italian mafia vibes, but on a local level (i.e. they got the mafia guns, but also trying to be half-spanish cussing, “ijo de puta” — not so sure how to spell that — in Tondo, Manila).

Suddenly (or slowly?) I’m not sure which, but everything just started to become confusing for me. The story started to jump around by introducing and killing characters unnecessarily (or without making who died clear, which drove Charlie absolutely crazy), and we pretty much found ourselves literally face-palming because of the ridiculousness of everything. The story was a big mess and the characters are so shallow, I’m not invested in them at all.

The end of the movie said it was based on a true story. But I’m pretty sure real life wasn’t as messed up as that movie I watched. Aisong Salonga’s wife in the movie summed our feelings perfectly (in a different context but with the exact message): “Hindi ko alam kung iiyak ako o tatawa.”

Charlie was so angry after watching the movie and it left me feeling sorry we even tried to watch it. He was saying we’re in that bad point in a relationship that we have to get through together. The bad part being watching a movie so bad that it’s one of the worse decisions we’ve made (as a couple). So I said, well, we learn from our mistakes.

Guess that means we’re never, ever watching an MMFF movie anymore.