It’s been a while since I traveled ‘alone’. When I studied for a semester at NUS, living alone abroad was a very liberating experience that pushed me to become more independent and I missed it. Since then though, I’ve mostly traveled with friends and family.

When I had to fly to Hong Kong alone for UXHK¬†yesterday, I realized that I’m not as confident traveling without company anymore. I try to be confident, less worried, more optimistic.

I did my best to keep calm, even when I was passing through airport immigrations, scared that I might face some kind of discrimination because I’m Filipino and because I’m alone. When my credit card didn’t work with Handy¬†and I had to make a cash deposit instead, I tried not to worry too much about how much money I had for spending left. I needed to make a decision and I felt more secure if I could fall back on the internet in case I get lost, even at the cost of giving up shopping for this trip.

When I realized that the dollars I had left was only enough to pay for the UXHK ticket (since I was going to pay at the venue) and some left for train fare and perhaps not enough for full meals for 5 days, I told myself I’ll find a way. When my ATM card didn’t work either, even when I already went to the bank before to get the Cirrus activated, my heart beat fast as I thought of how to budget all I had. I decided to survive on some bread and the snacks and cocktails from the events that I would be attending until I built up courage to borrow some funds from friends who will be arriving later that evening. But it forced me to spend my time walking around, finding ‘free’ things to do and places to visit. I mustered up some courage to explore unfamiliar places alone, even without really talking to people because I also felt shy. I walked to the Mei Ho House near SCAD, enjoyed the museum, and found inspiring designs in the shop there.

I met up with my friends eventually, and felt more secure knowing that I could turn to them for help (and company!) when I needed it. But there’s a strength that I’m slowly building up as I do some things on my own again. I had so much daring when I was living alone as a student in Singapore; I want to find that much confidence while traveling again.